I tried something new last night. I met a friend at a downtown gay bar and we convinced the bartender to let us watch American Idol until the regulars started rolling in.

Thank god last night’s show ended at 9:30, because the twinks were starting to roll in for the “five vodka drinks for five dollars” special. We barely caught the last performance before the plug was pulled in favor of the thumping dance beats and constant text messaging.

It is interesting to see how some of the boys got it and some just didn’t. I am hoping that America votes on both weeks’ performances and casts out people who are just not good, no matter how hard they try. These would include such good-looking, but not so talented guys like Jason Yeager, Luke Menard, and Robbie Carrico.

The boys that got it, in terms of actually listening to the judges and coming back with something good are gay Danny Noriega, David Hernandez and Chikezie.

Jason Castro, Michael Johns and David Cook are those earnest musician types that will make a few more rounds until they start to cancel each other out. There may be a surprise in there somewhere. My guess is that - if there is a pleasant surprise - that it will be Michael Johns.

I also must sheepishly admit that David Archuleta is just good.

If America does the right thing, Jason Yeager and Luke Menard go home.

IsDanny Noriega Gay?
I think so. Yes. Danny Noriega is gay.

Now before all you teeny-bopper who are secretly in love with your gay BFF’s start telling me to mind my own business, let me say: it’s great to be gay!

I conjecture about Danny because I HOPE he is gay and that he finds a way to come out while competing and ends this grotesque trend of coming out only when one’s career is safe or crumbling.

Danny lists his favorite female artists as Britney and Ashlee and he lists himself as his own favorite male pop artist. Hello? Gay!

Danny wears lip balm or lipstick or something every night and he shows those pouty suckers (oops did I really say that?) every chance he gets. I’m a lips man myself, so Danny you got my vote. Oh wait…this is a singing competition, right?

Anyway, Danny, you did a nice job last night and I hope to see you go far. There is not much you could say or do to convince us that you are not gay, so for now you are hands-down my gay American Idol.

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